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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our last-ditch, surgical effort to end the circus of strep that has haunted our house since December of 2005. Yes, you read that right: December of 2005. That was when Logan was officially diagnosed with his first bout of strep. I was riding high that week, pregnant, happy, looking forward to the holidays. Logan had a fever and a sore throat. I took him in and was shocked when the strep test was positive. We picked up his antibitoic (he'd only had one twice before in his life) and headed home to a craft party.

The strange thing is that I can remember it like it happened last week, not almost two years ago. I can actually see the road in front of me as I explained to my friend J. via cell phone that we'd be picking up Logan's craft booty and running. Logan was in the back of our minivan, enjoying the fat sore throat sucker I'd picked up in the natural foods section of the grocery store while we waited for his script to be ready.

Since that time, Logan has endured more strep tests than many people face in a lifetime. He has come full circle with them, from not caring, to hating them, back to not caring. He has had more antibiotics than I can actually recall. Round after round of amoxicillan, zithromax, augmentin, omnicef, keflex. He is still growing like a weed, still strong as an ox, but always there is this slight pallor to his face, this slight raggedness to his little voice. He has lived with a near-constant infection for as long as his little mind can remember. He is tired.

And so are we. We have lived in a state of heightened awareness for so long that I wonder what it will be like to be in a strep-free zone. What will it be like to not take his temperature every time he says he doesn't feel like eating? Will I eventually go back to canceling playdates for things like suspected colds, rather than just calling people in advance and letting them know that yes, he has strep ... but he's two days in to his antibitoic? Will there come a time when Logan actually goes back to telling us that his throat is sore, rather than assuming that everyone's throat is sore all the time?

Tomorrow is the day. I am dreading it, but giving it over to God. He created this little man with his peculiar weakness, and I know I can trust Him to bring the reign of StrepBoy to an end.

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