Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Bio Dad canceled today's visit. He wasn't a no-show; he called in ahead of time to cancel outright. That means that the smiling, giggling baby that I woke up to this morning will still be a smiling, giggling baby when I put him down to sleep tonight.
Not sure exactly how to process all of this. Is it o.k. to be happy when someone else is clearly allowing their life to fall apart? What if that person has no desire to make it better? What if it's a forgone conclusion that said person wasn't up to the task to begin with?
Lots of holes, I know, readers. I wish I were at liberty to fill some of them in, but honestly, I probably still wouldn't. This is Oliver's story, not mine. There are some things that belong to him. I am only the caretaker--and I need to guard them as jealously as I can for him.
Tomorrow is Bio Mom's second scheduled visit.