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Friday, May 30, 2008

Yes, I AM trying to destroy the world, thankyouverymuch

A word to the wise:

Do not pull up in front of this:


Driving this:


With four of these:



Unless you want to be looked at like this:



Why, oh why, do I keep falling into the delightfully-lit trap that is Whole Foods? Why have I not learned my lesson? I am not the type of crunchy that they prefer. This is obvious. My car is too big. My family is too big. My butt is too big. And I am not even a member of the local Free Tibet group! How dare I peruse their supply of Robeez? How presumptuous, to oogle their house brands on snack items! I should just shuffle myself to Fred Meyer and grab a bag of the nastiest sugar-laden cereal I can find and gorge myself. Or better yet, I should get myself to a re-education camp post-haste. Because surely, no one that looks like me and dresses like me and lives like me can possibly be interested in organic foods. That's the exclusive domain of the rich and childless.

11 comments:

SmallWorld said...

Wow! I saw one of those on vacation; now I'm glad we didn't go inside!!

Sarah Mae said...

Super duper funny! I never knew Whole Foods was like that...guess you learn something new everyday!

Tara (Momlakes) said...

You are hilarious...and not alone! I went to our version of Whole Foods (Trader Joe's) on Memorial Day, of all days, with all FIVE of our dc. Oh my. It was amazing. I have never felt so conspicuous...and guilty for absolutely nothing. My gut response was that next time, I'll go alone. But, then, how will they ever learn to be tolerant without exposure to the riff-raff?

~ Angi :) said...

{{gasp!}}

{[sputter}}

(signing to my child, in sling)

"/FRUSTRATED!"

yep.

Jennifer F. said...

That is hilarious. I'm in Austin, so there are a lot of, umm, "Whole Foods"-type people around here. A lot of our stores have special parking spaces for hybrid cars only. Sometimes when it's the only one available it's sooooo tempting to park my huge minivan there. We have three children ages three and under and definitely get some disapproving looks.

Glad to have found your blog! :)

Mrs. Amy Brigham said...

LOL! I get mean looks at our local foods co-op and I only have one daughter thus far and am car-free. ;o)

Tami@ourhouse said...

Yikes. I took our (4) kids to a local park and they had a very professional exhibit that told how the kids could help the environment. Among the tips like, "Turn out the lights" and "recycle" was this jewel: "Have two children or less."

Nice. I love thinking about how to take better care of the world God has entrusted us with, but who are the 'saving the environment' for?

Anonymous said...

I become disgusted with anyone who drives an SUV or other gas-guzzling car, who does not reduce their consumption, etc. Unless you used cloth diapers, recycle just about everything, and grow, preserve, and cook most of your own food, YOU are NOT being a good steward of creation. Stewardship means caring for creation and NOT being wasteful and selfish. Having a huge family and being wasteful and consumptive is just pure selfishness. Oh, and as far as the quiverfulll reasons for having a large family, PLEASE! Who interpreted that part of the bible? I could interpret it in many different ways if I THOUGHT I was supposed to "interpret" it. ALso, you may want to read more of the gospel of Paul, especially where he writes that those who are Chrisitans are best to NOT marry and to NOT have children, as they are distractions from what is the righteous way to live (e.g., a Christ-like life of piety and prayer, whether one was a MAN or a WOMAN, there were NO admonishments that women were lesser than men). ONLY THOSE who were too weak to resist temptation were told that marriage would be an option, but clearly Paul indicated that being unmarried and childless was preferable. DO any of you people read those parts of the scripture???? NO, your kind only want to interpret those pieces that uphold your selfish, wasteful ways of life.

Joy of Frugal Living said...

If you haven't read it yet, the book Crunchy Cons may make you smile. I'm part way through, but I already feel less alone.

There's nothing wrong with being a conservative-wants a large family-homemaker-vegetarian-organic foods eater, etc... I think there are more of us than is obvious.

I say go back and smile, and do whatever you feel like. Whole Foods has some good stuff and you shouldn't feel excluded. It is a shame these folks are so quick to judge. But don't let that get you down. Challenge their assumptions.

Have a great day!

Jennifer

EllaJac said...

I clicked here from Making Home and I just laughed out loud.. I live in a rural area of a very "red" state - We grow a lot of our own food (including meat), and buy organic, etc. However, my husband does all he can to cut down a tree each arbor day. :) I visited my folks in the NW (seattle area) and shopped at a food co-op -- with my kids. I swear, I felt like an oppressed minority dragging three babes thru the place! All these leering Vegans wondering what a Breeder is doing in their midst, and why do we have to take up the whole aisle like that anyway?

I wanted to yell out, "...I cloth diaper!!...And these aisles are really narrow!"

The euthanasia proponent at the door wasn't too impressed with my willingly adding to world-overpopulation.

I say shop at Whole Foods frequently. Just because.

Anonymous said...

This was really funny. But I wouldn't be afraid of Whole Foods. I shop there all the time with one of those cars and 5 (almost 6) of those children and I look rather funny too. . .until I pull out my pocketbook to pay for the massive load of groceries that I intended to purchase from them. I am not rich either. We shop there most because of special dietary concerns. After 5 years of giving them my money on a consistent basis, I have actually become the one that the grocers move to bag my groceries. They actually offer to help me out to the car now. They are GREAT with my kids (of course, my kids have also proven how children are supposed to behave as well. It's amazing what a cookie at the end of our shopping trip can make a kid do. LOL!!!) I never let others opinions of how "crunchy" I am keep me from any place. I don't look "crunchy" at all but I more "crunchy" than alot of people out there. Looks can be deceiving. Anyway. Thanks for the laugh. (BTW, I found your through a link on Making Home blog. It's great!!)