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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

And so it goes

Just heard from Oliver's sw that Bio Mom's visitation is most likely being reinstated as of next week--just in time for our deeper foray into school, of course.

The good news is that if Bio Mom failed the Psych Eval she took a few weeks back, sw says she'll be moving for termination ASAP. If she comes back as "borderline" then the court will recommend classes and other services, and we stay in limbo until she is deemed unfit in another way.

Is it o.k. to pray that she failed?

7 comments:

Liz said...

yes it is ok. she certainly has had long enough to get her act together. he needs to stay right where he is!!!
that really sucks that they are starting visits again.

Anonymous said...

No, it is not. He is her baby and you are caring for him until she can or until she has lost her parental rights. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to take on that role, but you agreed to do so.

Luke said...

I suggest you pray that the best comes out of all this. That way, if it is best for her to fail, then you are praying that she does. But if it is best for him to go live with her, she will shape up.

Because, really, you want what is best more than you want her gone.

My two cents.

~Luke

Anonymous said...

Wasn't that a rhetorical question?

I'll pray that things will work out sooner rather than later. I can't imagine the limbo this puts your family through.

Hugs,
Ajoy

Anonymous said...

I think I do not know the proper use of the word *rhetorical*.

I should have just said "did you really want an answer to that" or was that a statement about how nice it would be for certain aspects of the situation to be resolved? : )

JustTheFactsMa'am said...

It was a hypothetical question, but having been there myself, I totally empathize with the feelings behind it.

These cases are not just about what's good for the mother. It's primarily about what's best for the child. Hanging in limbo is never in a child's best interest, which is why the laws put a ceiling on how long they're supposed to be able to languish in care. So yes, from that perspective, it would be better for her to fail now than to fail later after the child is just that much more bonded to your family and bewildered and grief-stricken by another emotional disruption if he were to be returned to her a year down the road.

This is not about assigning blame or dislike to bmom and isn't about not showing her mercy...her situation is sad, but the child is the one who needs to be protected first and foremost, and that extends way beyond physical safety.

All that said in a not-so-succinct way, you, the baby and the bmom all have my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hypothetical...THAT'S the word I was looking for. Thank you, Justthefactsma'am!

needing a little more sleep,
A