Thursday, October 2, 2008

Think fast

You've got five buttered slices of bread on the hot griddle, awaiting their dose of American Cheese.

A peek at call waiting reveals that your husband--who you had a bit of a tiff with as he left this morning-- is on the other end of the line.

Your six year-old is practicing his soccer skills against the front door. Loudly. Again.

Your eight year-old is asking you to help him understand a Bible verse that, he says, has been on his heart.

Your 22 month-old is running around with a bare bum and has just sucked down an entire sippy cup of watered-down juice.

Think on your feet, soldier. Triage this situation and let me know which issue ranks highest in your book.


Mom Of Es said...

Here's what I would do (it's not necessarily right, it's just what I would do):

1) Turn the heat on the griddle WAAAAY down, and let those grilled cheeses cook slowly.

2) Ask the soccer star to take it outside, or I'll find a chore that needs done.

3) Tell the eight-year-old that you promise to talk about the bible verse in great length at bedtime.

4) Let the 22 month old roam free. Carpet washes, right?

5) All the previous steps have been done in such a quick and orderly manner, ;-) that I can scoop up the phone before it quits ringing and get right with my hubby.



anya* said...

Wow. 'Mom of E's' has it figured out. I need to go read her blog and learn from her.

Also- MG, great post as always. It made me laugh as I was avoiding the bedtime routine w/ my babies. Hope it all worked itself out:)

anya* said...

agghh! Then I click on 'Mom of Es's' profile with no blog to click on! What?! I think she should blog. Thoughts?

Melissa said...

At my house the grilled cheeses would burn no matter what. Ask anyone who lives with me, they'll tell ya.

Other than that, it depends on the day. Some days I can handle it like Mom of E's said and others it's utter chaos. Still trying to figure out what makes the difference :)

The Small Scribbler said...

I would:

Turn off the grilled cheese, chase after the naked child, holler to the soccer star on the way by, let the phone ring. Tell the eight year old you'll sit with him in fifteen minutes. Call back your husband, smooth things over,answer bible question during grilled cheese take two. It might even turn into a family discussion over lunch.

Whew! I'm exhausted and I'm not even there.


Gayle said...

The husband always ranks first. All the messes and training can come later but for me, if things aren't quite right between Chris and I then nothing else will be quiet right either.

Pee CAN be wiped up later....Blech!

Never a dull moment, is there?

Anonymous said...

First thing I would do:
Find 10 year-old...who by now knows how to make grilled cheese... and after all those rabbits to clean up after, toddler pee is a walk in the park... Leave soccer dude unless there is a family heirloom within bouncing distance...tell 8 yr. old that his thoughts on the matter are so important that you want to wait until you can really listen...and then sprint to the phone post haste because you may not get THAT moment again.
That was a fun puzzle. So much more fun than actually DOING it. :)

Anonymous said...

ahem...I believe that would be: "Find the 11 year-old..."
My apologies to Jo. :)

~ Angi :) said...

Are you kidding?

My home becomes a veritable wasteland when a tif's been had!

Such a woeful state puts the kiddos in charge of their own dadgum grilled cheese; the dog will most likely have been keepin' an eye on the baby, and the Bible verse? You gotta be kidding! Who can 'splain well, when out of whack with the husband???

Oh. I almost forgot. That soccerball? I'da already kicked it to the field goal outside, and given marghing orders to follow.

Post conversation, when all is patched up? Well, then I've got some apologizing to do, and rearranging to set. :)

I really, really dislike tifs.

~ Angi :) said...

sets me all outta circuit.

Liz said...

lol. this sounds SO like my house. i have been wanting to do one of those running daily log on my blog to show how often this same senerio works for me- i just need to find the time! LOL

Luke said...

Fantastic post. Let's see how I score as a prospective parent:

Ask the 8 year old to watch the grilled cheese.

Pick up the phone and say, "Hi honey, one second, please. Madness!" Then...

Grab the exhibitionist on the way to the front door.

Ask the athlete to practice outside.

Fix things with the spouse while re-applying the proper "human waste receptacle" on the young'un.

I love the idea of answering the Bible question over food.


Anonymous said...

This is how I tend to operate.

1. The soccer player must relocate outside so I can think and talk on the phone.

2. Grab cordless phone, answer "please hold" turn off/down the griddle.

3. I'd tell my son that I look forward to discussing that a few minutes.

4. Grab diaper-less baby, take him into the bathroom...and

5. "Hi Hon, thanks for waiting" This way, husband stays informed as to what's going on and he's not being ignored, exactly.

: )

Sarah said...

Um...I'd surrender! First I'd deal with the diaper...then the grilled cheese...then call dh back (assuming he'd be understanding) and I'd let the soccer player just be loud at that moment.